4.05.2012

seize everything.

carpe omnia print.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my life, my blog and Etsy shop, and what I want to do in the future. I have so many things that I'd like to accomplish in the next ten years. I want to have a successful blog and connect with people I would never otherwise meet. I want to sell vintage as a career. I want to travel. I want to own a building in a downtown arts district.

But I feel like I can't. I work hard, but sometimes I feel like I don't work hard enough. I spend most of my days on a computer or my iPad, reading blogs, working on my shop, trying to put together quality content for my blog, gathering inspiration, making lists and budgets and plans..but I feel stagnant. Do I not work hard enough? If I worked harder, would I feel more successful in completing my goals or will I still feel like I'm accomplishing nothing? Will I be happy?

The internet and blogger community doesn't help much, either. I can't help but read popular blogs and wonder, "Why isn't this me?" I read a lot of posts in which bloggers wax poetic on the balance between their work and their day-to-day life. I don't feel that pressure. I think my life is well-balanced. Is that my problem? Do I not spend enough time on my online self? Should I have to?

I don't know at what point I will stop and say, "I did it. I'm done. My goals have been realized." Maybe if I'm a featured seller on Etsy or Blogger of the Moment on Modcloth, maybe when I sign the papers on my new home and office space, maybe when I post something basic on my blog and get 300 comments on how "inspiring" I am, maybe never. Something I learned at the Texas Style Council is that "comparison is the thief of joy." Perhaps I spend too much time comparing myself to others. Maybe if I just focus on Lauren and her gigantic, never-ending list of goals, I'll be satisfied. Only time will tell, I suppose. For now, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing, but with a little more intensity. I'm hoping my hard work will pay off, but even if it doesn't I'll still be happy just being Lauren.

7 comments:

  1. The fact that you feel balanced means you have made it. Stay that way. Remember at TxSC when they said it's not about comparison or who's doing what...it's about YOU and YOUR execution of YOUR goals. I spent the last decade comparing myself to other people, and look at me now--completely lost at 25 feeling baffled about where I am, how I got here, and where to go next. Lesson learned--comparison gets you nowhere except the shrink's couch pumped with prozac. :) I love you, girl. You are amazing. Just do you because the blog world right now is bullshit, unoriginal, and NOT genuine. We could all use a little Lauren kickass awesomeness in our lives.

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  2. RestlessheartscraftsApril 5, 2012 at 11:11 AM

    I spent my entire 20s comparing myself to my "friends" and those around me. It took me a long time to realize that my life is MINE, not theirs. Do these things for you, because you want to, and that will bring you the greatest joy imaginable. Someone recently told me "There will always be people out there doing the same thing better than you. And that's good because then you can learn something from them." I think that's a great way to look at things. I do the same thing as you with other bloggers. It's hard not to. But I also learn from it too. Learning is doing, so don't think you're not doing as long as you're learning and evolving. Whatever you do in life, do it for you! I'm here if you wanna talk! xoxo

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  3. Sometimes...(and this sounds rather negative, but it's not supposed to)...sometimes I feel like we might never be satisfied and that is kind of the drive of life. You're not going to strive to do better if you feel like you've already 'made it' or gotten to where you want to go, ya know? So maybe we're never supposed to feel like "This is it, I did it" because then we wouldn't keep striving to be better.

    It's tough thing and I totally know what you mean...and can understand where you're coming from. I'm feeling very much the same lately and did a post on it a few days ago as well. Life can be tough but we gotta make the most of it! Hang in there lady.

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  4. Dude....AMEN sister. Everything you've written totally resonates with me right now. I feel like I am working my booty off but getting nowhere....like I'm a hamster endlessly going around the same wheel.

    About the blogger community - don't compare yourself to the masses! You are YOU and you are unique and creative and talented and really freaking smart and funny. Your voice and your thoughts and your opinions are invaluable! And just keep in mind that there are ladies out there who are comparing themselves to YOU and YOUR SUCCESS! [I know cause I am one of those ladies....holler!]

    I'm with Amy too...if your life feels balanced - KEEP WITH IT! I have a tattoo on my inner arm that is just a reminder to TRY and seek balance in my own life. If you can get stuff done [eliminating stress from building up] and still take time to do things you love [keeping yourself happy too] - that is perfection. I'll get there too eventually. :)

    Love you lady!

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  5. This describes me perfectly. You have no idea how much I can relate to this.
    I never feel like my knitted stuff is good enough, or that my earrings stand out enough, and i don't feel like my blog is worth anything.
    I beat myself up constantly. Maybe I just need to take some time away from the other blogs I read and follow and work on myself...
    -Nicole
    Knit, Nicole, Knit!

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  6. I know how you feel Lauren but you are right. You should definitely never compare yourself to others. You are your own unique person and if you focus on just being your wonderful self, then you'll find yourself (perhaps not straight away) exactly where you want or need to be.

    This however, is often easier said then done!

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  7. I think about this stuff ALL the time! With everyone on the internet now, not only do we compare ourselves to people around us but people online too! I think you are doing great things and working towards your goals. Unfortunately they can take a lot of time to start being realized. I'm learning that too, and patience sure can be hard!

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